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December 1, 2013

Easy Come, Not So Easy Go

I figured this would be a good one to put out now, with the Holidays looming over us. Don’t get me wrong, Christmas is my favorite time of year. I bake cookies, sing carols, and deck the halls like my life depends on it. I am definitely one of those annoying “Christmas People.” And for years I have used Christmas as an excuse to eat my body weight in shortbread cookies, Christmas Tree shaped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (LOVE) and basically anything else I could tell myself I only get to eat once a year so I better eat it all in the next 30 seconds. And we all tell ourselves the same lie. “It’s Christmas! Everyone packs on a couple pounds, you lose it right after New Years when you make your resolution to lose weight. Easy peasy lemon squeezey! Right?”

Wrong.

Seriously I could eat ten of them before you can say "fatty fat fat"

Seriously I could eat ten of them before you can say “fatty fat fat”

Our next Uncomfortable Truth: Easy Come, Not So Easy Go

I always figured weight was a pretty simple equation: You have one bad day, one really good day should even it out. So if I have one day where I devour an entire chocolate cake, the next day if I stick to just broccoli and celery I’ll be back on track. Yeah…. No. For so many reasons. One being that there’s not a chance in hell I’ll only eat broccoli and celery for an entire day after a sugar binge. But also because that’s just not how weight works.

The sad, unfortunate truth is that fat is ridiculously easy to put on (even easier to put back on) and insanely difficult to take off again. We are currently doing the Slow Carb Diet in my house, no carbs at all six days of the week and one day where we go nuts and eat whatever we want. So far it has worked very well for me, but there are some weeks where I just barely lose an ounce by week’s end because I spent all week losing what I put on in one day.

I repeat: I SPEND ALL WEEK LOSING WHAT I PUT ON IN ONE DAY.

This should cancel out that tray of brownies right?

This should cancel out that tray of brownies right?

And that’s not coming from someone who eats bad all the time or doesn’t stick to their diet or has little “justified treats” all week. I eat very small portions, next to no carbs, I do some light working out, and I have very low calorie days wherein I don’t even sit down until after the baby has gone to bed. And I still need about 5 days to lose what I gain in one day of simple carbohydrates and sugar.

It’s insane. It’s unfair. It shouldn’t be that way. It makes no logical sense. But unfortunately, it’s a fact. So don’t kid yourself. If you use the holidays as an excuse to eat pie all day every day you’re doing yourself, and your thighs, a serious disservice. I’m not saying don’t indulge, you best believe I’m eating some serious sugar over the next month. But the key is to eat smart.

Choose wisely. Your pants depend on it.

Choose wisely. Your pants depend on it.

1. Don’t eat too quickly, you store more of it as fat.

2. Eat smaller portions, you don’t need to eat half the cake. Savor the flavor, and take smaller bites.

3. Don’t have dessert every day. There will be more of it to come. One day without sugar won’t kill you. But every day with sugar might.

4. Eat smart: Eat your veggies first. At a big meal it’s very easy to fill up on mashed potatoes and rolls. It’s also very stupid. Eat your brussels sprouts and turnip and carrot first. Those are actually wicked delicious, and you can eat a metric ton of them guilt free.

5. Drink Smart: Skip pop all together. Duh. Also skip really creamy drinks, and alcohol with a sugary and/or creamy mix. Red wine is good, dry white wine, vodka and gin with water (not tonic, its basically pop) are also good. Beer, sweet white wine, champagne, these are all tickets to Fatsville. And obviously, water is your best bet. Water with lemon and/or lime juice? Even better. And tastier. Club soda with lemon and lime juice (the real stuff) is super delicious and not fattening.

6. Cold weather is bomb for boosting your metabolism. So pick your favorite cousin (we all have one, don’t lie) and go for a ten minute walk before dinner and gossip about boys or your least favorite cousin’s ugly dress or whatever. Your hips will thank you.

So long, cankles!

So long, cankles!

Choose what goes in your body wisely. Easier said than done, I’m terrified to be around all my favorite Christmas treats for the next month, but we can do it! There’s no rule that says you have to eat the entire dessert buffet. You don’t have to poison your body to celebrate Christmas. And being happy with your body and reveling in your willpower? That’s your Christmas gift all year round.

Your turn! What are some of your tips and tricks to having your waistline survive the holidays?

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lasttwentypounds and Pinterest at www.pinterest.com/last20pounds and I’m also on Twitter @Last20Pounds. Cheers!

 

November 23, 2013

You’re Not The Exception, You’re The Rule

I LOVE the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. And not just because I’m a sucker for chick flicks (I may or may not bawl like a baby every single time I watch The Notebook) but because it so beautifully illustrates the point I am making with this blog. Our next Uncomfortable Truth…

"We're not the exception, we're the rule"

“We’re not the exception, we’re the rule”

You’re Not The Exception, You’re The Rule

This is a really hard one for we modern women to wrap our heads around. One big reason is all the “love your body no matter what” propaganda, which is just one more comfortable lie we tell ourselves.

Real quick, obviously yes love your body no matter what. You can also love your house no matter what. But when the stairs squeak, the paint’s peeling, and the roof is buckling… It’s time to fix it up. When your knees are constantly aching, your feet are swelling because they’re carrying too much weight, your face blends right into your shoulders, and you’ve redefined the term “cankle”… You can love your body all you want. But you don’t have to be happy with it.

I understand that will probably anger a lot of people. It angered me when I first started to think that way. I had just had a baby and I wanted to feel like the beautiful glowing goddess I saw in the movies. Instead I was lumpy and sweaty and smelly… And that was 6 months later. Sooner or later, hearing you’re beautiful stops counting when you don’t like the person looking back at you in the mirror. And that’s okay. The first step to recovery is admiting there’s a problem. As soon as I admitted to myself that I was fat, and not just “new baby” fat, it became a lot easier to fix that problem.

Maybe if I angle it slightly.... And black is slimming right??

Maybe if I angle it slightly…. And black is slimming right??

Okay! Phew! Feels good to get that out. Onwards and upwards! I want to punch every show in the face that shows skinny women stuffing all kinds of empty carbs and sugar into their pie hole and never shows the next scene. The next scene being that actress spitting it all back out into the bucket you don’t see sitting beside her. Seriously, watch closer next time. The first time I really saw it was Anya on Buffy the Vampire Slayer “eating” chips. The only time she actually took a bite, she barely nibbled the corner. Otherwise, she was gesturing with her Dorito. Which is the way it has to be if you want to lose weight, and especially if you want to keep it off.

Oh yeah, I'm sure she eats tons of chips on the regular...

Oh yeah, I’m sure she eats tons of chips on the regular…

This is also really hard because we look at all these beautiful, thin women who claim to “eat so much” or go on about how much they love cheesecake and pizza etc etc. Bullshit. You eat a lot from a skinny person’s point of view, which is the exact opposite of my viewpoint. To me, eating a lot is devouring the entire dessert menu in one sitting. Theirs is eating a large chicken caesar salad with a glass of water and thinking of having a bite of their friend’s cheesecake but never actually doing it. These women are the rule. If they ate “a lot” like I eat “a lot” we’d be in the same sinking boat. And typically, those women who are telling you they eat a large pizza to themselves every Friday night and never gain a pound are just full of it. Or 22 with reality about them slap them in the muffin top in a couple years. It’s a truth fact.

We need to understand and accept the fact that we are not the exception. We can’t live off of marshmallows and Pop Tarts like The Gilmore Girls. We are the rule. And the rule is as follows: If you fill your body with junk, you’re going to feel like crap and you’re going to gain weight. Period. End of story. Accept it, move on, and start enjoying life for what it really is. A super awesome game that you can win at, and you can do it without making your game about food.

They're waiting for their buckets to show up.

They’re waiting for their buckets to show up.

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lasttwentypounds I’m also on Twitter @Last20Pounds and I am on Pinterest daily with tons of great recipes, information and inspiration as The Last Twenty Pounds: An Uncomfortable Truth. See you next week!

November 16, 2013

Just Because You Stumble, You Don’t Have To Fall Down

Welcome to this week’s blog! I actually had another one all set to go, but it’s the day after my cheat day, as in a day I should be eating no carbs… And I just took a half a piece of Naan bread out of my freezer, microwaved it for 30 seconds, spread some butter on it and devoured it almost in one bite. Fail.

But now I’m here. At this point. A few months ago my thought process would be “Well… Guess today’s ruined… What else can I eat?” Another fail. Just because I’ve ventured slightly off course doesn’t mean I have to change direction entirely. Our next Uncomfortable Truth…

 

Not always an easy decision...

Not always an easy decision…

 

Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right

This is a mistake that is so easy to make. We poke fun at the person ordering a Big Mac Meal with a Diet Coke. Granted yes we should because diet pop is actually just as bad for you, but we make fun of them because we’ve been told “Go big or go home!” our whole lives. That is just ridiculous. You know what’s worse than a 1500 calorie meal? A 1600 calorie meal. You know what’s better than a 1500 calorie meal? A 1400 calorie meal. Every step we take in the right direction is one step closer to our goals. Every wrong step takes us farther away. No matter the size, every action is either bringing us closer to what we want, or taking us farther away.

Uh yeah could you fatty size that for me?

Uh yeah could you fatty size that for me?

Yet we all do this to ourselves constantly. “Ugh… I shouldn’t have had that cookie. Ah well, ruined my diet for the day, might as well eat another half dozen.” That’s called being weak. Being pathetic. Looking for an excuse to cheat. If you want to cheat on your diet, go for it. But don’t lie to yourself. Don’t tell yourself why it’s okay, or why it won’t happen again, or why it’s just this once. “I got in a fight with my boyfriend! I NEED chocolate!” No, what you need is some self discipline. Whenever I feel a big bad urge like that, I wait on it. I imagine myself eating that cookie over and over and over again. And you know what? The craving goes away. And I didn’t have to lie to myself and pack on even more pounds.

So the next time you feel an urge to cheat, fight it. Wait it out. And you know what? Don’t jump off a cliff if you don’t always succeed. We all fail sometimes. We all cave. We all make mistakes. The way to make it right is not to justify it, or to lie to ourselves. Own it. Admit to yourself that you screwed up. Admit that it was a mistake. Figure out what went wrong and how to stop it in the future. That makes you strong. That makes you succeed. The only thing better than not making mistakes is taking responsibility when we falter and learning from it.

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lasttwentypounds and on Twitter @Last20Pounds and you can find me on Pinterest as The Last Twenty Pounds: An Uncomfortable Truth. See you next week!

November 11, 2013

Working Out Is Not A “Get Out Of Jail Free” Card

We’ve all done it. We’ve all had a really good workout then felt we “deserved” a treat for it afterwards. Once we finish our 5000 calorie meal we feel satisfied, maybe a little sickly, but we feel like maybe we can still eat what we want and lose weight! That workout wasn’t so bad, and if I get to eat like this afterwards… Hecks yes I can do this!

And then a year later you’re 5 pounds heavier without the slightest clue how it happened. Because that one week I did work out really hard and lost a couple pounds, but then next month my old friend was in town and I couldn’t not go out for cheesecake and cosmopolitans with her, that would just be rude. But then the next month I did that crash diet and lost 10 pounds! Of course then it was Christmas…

Credit: Alan Cleaver

It’s gonna take more than that…

Yeah. We’ve all done it. We lose an inch and gain a mile. I know I personally have done this to myself over and over and over again. I just worked out harder than I ever have before, what’s one bagel from Tim’s really going to do? Although that one bagel that one time may not make you gain 5 pounds, it’s that line of thinking that’s going to keep you out of your skinny jeans for the rest of your life. And thus I bring to you, our next Uncomfortable Truth:

Working Out Is Not A “Get Out Of Jail Free” Card

Every time you have a really good workout, then you go and “reward” yourself with junk in some form or another, you’re continuing the cycle. You’re keeping sugar up on that pedestal where it definitely does not belong. Having sugar after a workout is shooting yourself in the foot after a marathon. It’s lighting your painting on fire as soon as you finish it. It’s other ridiculous metaphors that mean it’s doing the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Working out should be your reward! Stop relying on sugar to make you feel good. Sugar is that jerk you dated in your 20s who made you feel like a goddess when you were together then never called you again. You need to tell that jerk to suck it, and tell sugar to take a hike. You don’t need ’em. You need you. Strong, powerful you. You need to stop looking outwards for things to satisfy you. Yeah, sure, that Caramel Nut Brownie flavor Luna bar may taste awesome after a workout (my former guilty pleasure) but you know what will taste even better? Sweet, delicious, non fat success. Putting on those “skinny pants” and having them fall off of you. I’ve been there. It tasted better than any chocolate covered anything ever could.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

So the next time you’re working out and you’re looking for that carrot on a stick, that “guilt free” treat afterwards, that thing that motivates you to actually finish your workout, hang up your skinny jeans in front of you. Have a chocolate protein drink with some almond milk waiting for you afterwards. Have some self respect and tell yourself it’s not the chocolate bar you’re craving. It’s the drug inside the chocolate. It’s that fat girl in your head telling you that you want it. You don’t need to listen. You can be strong. The sugar addiction won’t last forever. That awesome feeling of success, that will last a lifetime.

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lasttwentypounds on Twitter @Last20Pounds and Pinterest as The Last Twenty Pounds: An Uncomfortable Truth. Thanks for reading, see you next week!

November 3, 2013

Monday Never Comes

Welcome back! Okay, I hate to break it to you, but I took it a little easy on you last week. When it comes to weight loss, you can’t step lightly (pun not entirely intended) White lies and easy truths are what got us here. Hearing a thousand times “You’re only pregnant for a little while, it’s okay to be fat!” or “Oh come on, it’s only one cookie! What’s the harm?” Is what made me gain double what I should have while pregnant. It’s why even though I’m 4 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, my stomach is still a train wreck. I could keep the cycle going, tell you pretty lies so you feel better for a minute… But that’s not going to get us anywhere. The first step is to be okay with being uncomfortable. An easy, comfortable life will only keep packing the pounds on year after year. Even if it’s just 2 pounds by year’s end, after ten years…. You do the math. To lose weight, you need to take the good with the bad. So, without any further ado, here is our next Uncomfortable Truth…

Monday Never Comes

Okay, obviously this isn’t entirely true. Monday always does seem to come around every seven days give or take. But if I had a nickel for every woman, myself included, I heard say “Ah screw it, give me a piece of cake and a milkshake after my potato skins and cheeseburger, the diet starts Monday!” I would be a multi billionaire by now. This is a cop out. This is looking at starting a diet as losing something. So long as you’re looking at fatty foods and sugary treats as something that should be treasured, you’re never going to stick to a diet. You’re never going to be happy.

When I was quitting smoking, I read a book called The Easy Way To Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. It was a total game changer. Especially because while reading it, I realized a lot of it could also apply to my sugar addiction. Sugar is a drug. It spikes your blood sugar, makes you feel euphoric for a minute, then you crash and crave more. Consuming sugar makes you want more sugar. Just like cigarettes. For simplicity’s sake, count simple carbs (white bread etc) as sugar as well. Simple carbohydrates almost instantly break down into sugar in your bloodstream. That’s why you can consume so much bread in one sitting, it just makes you want more. In order to start a diet and stick to it, you need to change the way you think about food.

One thing I started doing that really helped was this: 6 days a week I think of food as fuel to make my body go. And since I want to keep this body going for a while, I need to give it high quality fuel. Pretty simple right? And also entirely a fact. If you fill yourself full of Cheetos and Twinkies you may not die immediately, although you may feel like you want to, but your quality of life is undoubtedly going to be lessened. When I made the switch off of carbs it completely blew my mind. Sugar, in a nutshell, makes you feel like a giant bag of garbage covered in poo. But because I lived my life in that poo covered sack, I didn’t know any better. It’s like watching a movie in black and white, you don’t see it after a while. Until you turn on MTV in the 90s and get blasted with hyper color and realize just how much you were missing! When I’m on my diet and not eating sugar and carbs, I feel like a million bucks. I don’t need half as much coffee, I don’t get an afternoon burnout, and most importantly I feel good and energized after a meal, not sickly and bloated and like I just need to rest for a minute. It was the exact opposite of the life I had been living. And I haven’t looked back.

So to sum it up, if you want to feel good and healthy and proud all the time, if you want to wake up in the morning feeling energized and ready to face the day, and if you want to live your life not feeling like you’re missing out on something, then you need to step up. Face your fears. Google what sugar does to you. What carbs do to you. Or just accept that the hype is true, you are better off without it, and consider today your Monday.

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lasttwentypounds and I’m on Twitter @Last20Pounds and also on Pinterest as The Last Twenty Pounds: An Uncomfortable Truth. Follow along for lots of great daily tips, tricks, information and inspiration. See you next week!

October 27, 2013

The Last Twenty Pounds: An Uncomfortable Truth

It's time to stop fearing the scale!

 

Welcome to my maiden voyage! Thank you all for embarking upon this journey with me, I am pretty darn excited! For those of you who don’t know me, here’s a brief background:

I am 28, mother of one, and am desperately struggling to finish taking off the baby weight. Before I lose you, this blog won’t be littered with baby anecdotes, baby pictures, or any other mom-specific information. First and foremost, I am a woman. A very average woman with a very average body. When I got pregnant I was 5’6ish and about 139 pounds. I gained roughly 70 pounds. Seriously. Not a typo. Seventy mother truckin’ pounds. It looks less painful when typed out in words instead of digits. 70 pounds. Cringe. This is not something your body quickly recovers from. I am about 10 pounds away from my pre-baby weight, and about 20 pounds away from being happy with my body again.

Now, this is where I lose most people. “How can you say you’re not happy with your body?!” “You had a baby, your body is supposed to change!” “You’re a tiger, your stretch marks are your stripes!” “You should love your body no matter what!” Well… I’m calling it. I’m calling bullsh!t, to quote a movie I fell in love with after I had William, What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Amazing movie, baby or no baby you’ll love it. And it beautifully demonstrates that every woman is different. Sure, for some women stretch marks and crazy weight gain are an unavoidable truth. But I’m not here to tell you unavoidable truths. I’m here to tell you uncomfortable truths.

That in a very small nutshell is what I aim to do with this blog. Basically as women today, we’re royally screwed. We’re either told “Eat nothing. Work out non stop. It’s the only way to be happy.” Or “Screw diets! You only live once! Eat EVERYTHING!!!!” Either way is a quick and horrifying road to self destruction. There is an easier way. And we’re going to get there together!

So for this first endeavour, we’ll start with one simple Uncomfortable Truth:

Sugar Will Always Make You Fat

This was one of the hardest ones for me to come to terms with. It doesn’t matter if it’s your birthday. It doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas. Easter. Hallowe’en. Friday. Sunday. But I’m celebrating! But I’m depressed! But How I Met Your Mother is ending and I don’t know how I’ll go on without my Maclaren’s family!!! Doesn’t matter. Because you know what? There will always be excuses. If you look for them, and believe me I have, you will find fifteen thousand of them in the run of a day. There is always a reason to cheat. Greatness is succeeding in spite of the reasons. The minute you look your cravings full in the face, swimming in a sea of cheeseburgers and hundred layer chocolate cake and say “I. Choose. Salad.” you’re a winner. You’re already one step closer to your ideal, whatever that ideal may be. For some of you, it may be losing five pounds to get back into that swimsuit. For some, it may be losing a fifth grader off your hips. For others, just figuring out how to eat healthier in a world of processed foods. This is an exciting journey! Once you stop looking at it as losing something, and start looking at it as gaining something, you’ll be amazed how exciting a journey it can be. And I can’t wait to take it with you!!

Please join my Facebook group www.facebook.com/lasttwentypounds and you can find me on Pinterest at The Last Twenty Pounds: An Uncomfortable Truth. Keep me updated on your progress, ask me questions, give me feedback, or just say hi! I would love to hear from all of you and hear your stories, your stumbles, your wins and your losses. We can all be each others inspiration on this sometimes discouraging journey. I wish it was easy. I wish we could just decide to start a diet, buy yogurt instead of ice cream and crackers instead of chips and within 2 days be ten pounds lighter. It’s not going to happen. And not just because yogurt and crackers are just as likely to be bad for you. But because it does take work. It does take effort. Anything worth having in life is going to be hard at times. But that feeling of fitting back into your skinny jeans… No chocolate cake will ever taste that good.